Q: My husband and I fight over money and things related to money. He wants to spend and I want to save. How can we reduce the bickering?
A: You bring up a great question with which many couples struggle.
Recognize that men and women tend to think differently about money. Some personalities (usually of the male type) tend to think of it as a running stream – it’s easy to go back for more when it gets low. Other personalities (usually of the female type) tend to think of money as a pool of water (without tributaries) that they have to tend to carefully because it’s finite and it might dry up. This can be why men often take more financial risks, and why women seek security around finances. Does this resonate for you? If so, you may want to have a conversation with your spouse and see if they relate to the stream analogy.
Speaking of a conversation with your spouse, I believe a little communication goes a long way. I highly recommend setting up monthly money dates with your partner. Limit the time to an hour and make it a little fun with coffee, wine or good food. And just start talking. Find out what’s important to the other and where commonality lies. Listen. You probably have common goals and you can use your monthly dates to strategize on how to reach these goals together. Of course, working with an unbiased professional like a financial planner can be of great help as well.
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