I am enough
Can these 3 simple words change your life? According to therapist Marisa Peer, they can and they do.
Marisa became a well-known therapist to celebrities, athletes, and royalty because she discovered the common denominator of all emotional issues: humanity suffers from a belief that we are not enough. We give ourselves this message in sneaky, insidious ways day in and day out. We compare ourselves to others, we over work ourselves, we deflect praise, we drink too much or numb ourselves in other ways, we are not happy with the way we look, we’re not happy with what we have… we’re always striving in some way to reach some state of being enough. And the message we get from advertisers and marketers certainly drives home this message by telling us we need X to be happy or successful.
In addition, things happen every day that can give us the message that there is something wrong with us. We get turned down for a promotion. Someone criticizes us or is rude to us. We get bad news from a doctor. We have to lay someone off, or we lose our job. Such things happen, and it’s impossible to avoid life’s bumps.
So we are unconsciously and consciously telling ourselves in myriad ways that we’re not enough, we’re also hearing this message incessantly from advertising, and life things just happen that may reinforce the message. The truth is, we can change this belief internally, and we can’t control external forces and external fixes will never change the belief anyway. The reason is that when one external thing is changed or solved, there are always more problems, or things to buy, or ways that others ‘should’ change. I call this “whack-a-mole.”
Your brain believes what you tell it (so tell it good things!)
Marisa says that our brains will believe whatever we tell it. So it makes sense that we could be on a negative spiral, no matter how much we “achieve” externally. The remedy? According to Marisa, we need to simply tell ourselves that we are enough, again and again.
In her talk she gave many examples of counseling wealthy people who “had it all.” It always comes down to a worthiness issue, she says. Marisa instructs her clients to tell themselves daily that the opposite is in fact true, using the simple statement “I am enough.” She has her clients put this message into their phone reminders, write it on their bathroom mirrors in lipstick, and put up post-it notes. In effect, she is teaching that it is our responsibility to reprogram our brains. When she would check back with her client, everything would have been turned around by giving their brain this simple message.
Because of the power of our minds, we can believe thoughts that sabotage our happiness. Or, we can program our brains with positive messages to create what we desire, and feel peaceful.
How does this apply to finances??
Financial concerns are directly correlated with your sense of worth, according to Marisa. Your relationship with money is very much tied to your sense of self-worth. So it is very possible that any issues you are facing with money are a symptom of a negative belief about yourself, your worth, and/or money.
Instead of trying to pin down every negative belief you have — which can be cumbersome and tricky — try instead to create positive statements that you can get behind. One example with money she used is: “I monetize my skills because I am smart.” And of course, using “I am enough” is a positive and opposite statement of many false beliefs you may carry about yourself, and this simple statement alone may help change your relationship with money. Try it or create a statement that works for you and let me know how it goes! I always love hearing from you.